The next few days were emotionally overwhelming.
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My results had come in a little earlier than I expected, so day one of my search was also moving day. My angel charged full speed ahead, occasionally sending me a name to search for or a record to find. While I did help some, I felt terrible that I was basically absent from my own search. The whole thing made my head spin.
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By that evening, she had narrowed my tree to my birth parents. We found some email addresses and Facebook pages for different members of the family. We discussed my options for making contact.
I decided to send out a few emails and Facebook messages. I waited impatiently for a couple of days. Not knowing if the correspondence would be received, we started formulating a backup plan. My angel offered to act as an intermediary, so we decided she would make a phone call to my paternal grandmother. I went about my day shuffling boxes around, unpacking, and tending to sick kids.
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I tried not to hold my breath. A while later I got a very short message saying that she had spoken with her and for me to let her know when I had some time to talk. There was something about her tone that just seemed off.
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I told her I was ready. I had been so close. I was confused by how upset I was and angry with myself for waiting so long.
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I waited several minutes that felt like an eternity for another message to come through. All the while a knot grew in the pit of my stomach. Instead of launching a barrage of questions at her, I turned to Google. The instant I saw the obituary I knew it was his. My breath caught in my throat.
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I laid my head in my hands and sobbed uncontrollably. My heart was broken for a man I had never known. I was confused and hurt and angry. He died on March 28, How could I have missed him by just a few days?
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What had I done with my life that was so important that I put this off? To make matters worse, I felt horrible for showing up when I did and imposing on such a private and emotional time for my family. In the days that followed, I talked with other relatives including three sisters. I learned that he was a lot like me.
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He was laid back and loved the beach. He took life with a grain of salt. A couple of months later, I was invited to south Florida to attend his memorial service. He had chosen to be laid to rest by Eternal Reefs. I spent the three-day process bonding with my new family.
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