How can I help? I hope you get it worked out. The bottom line is that somebody cannot treat you poorly without your allowing it. You can still care for someone without feeding their dysfunctional behaviors. I actually wrote an article on my website a couple of weeks ago on this very topic.
I actually find it motivating! My Dad is very entrepreneurial and supportive but my Mum is much more cautious and pessimistic. I have found in western society that the idea of making money is not very popular. There seems to be more appreciation here in Australia for someone to sit around and collect money from the government than to go out and make a living.
Entrepreneurs are about taking an idea and making money from it. If you were to talk about teaching or a learning pursuit that would be fine But to talk about money is not okay. We do not even get taught how to budget properly at school. That is really showing a lack in this society where we are expected to make money for 45 years or so of our lives and not discuss how to improve our lives with income.
Other countries where I have lived which are not 1 world respect the idea of taking a skill, product or asset and developing it, to that you and those around you can benefit. After paying bills, taxes and wages, the entrepreneur is the last to be paid. How has this happened to you? My parents highly value education. I took a nursing degree in the first place because of them. I wanted to do architecture initially but my father wanted me to take up a proven high-earning degree.
After you do nursing and earn money, then you can do whatever you want. Look at your aunt!
I transferred to an arts school and took up graphics design and multimedia. But in those years I have not truly enjoyed myself. I did not understand if I really liked this specific type of design course. I earned high grades when I started. And after 3 years I stopped school again.
I got frustrated with myself about not being able to deliver and questioning how did I get to hate something that I used to love? And I try my best to please them but that never works out. How would you recommend this person deal with their unsupportive family? What exactly should they do? When your loved ones give you advice, listen to them. And just go ahead and do whatever it is you want. If they are making sense then you pick up their advise and apply it in your life.
Keep the positive, drown the negative. And that is OK. Just know what you want to achieve and work your way to get there. Whether it works or not, self-reliance is an amazing tool that boosts you to do better and more worthwhile things. I did cut them loose, all of them. Too late folks! Kind of cutting them loose insitu.
Before I was able to cut them loose I spent what… 15 years trying to move along with them. If there was a way Im pretty sure I would have found it. Just do your thing instead. See if they come and welcome them if so, but dont sweat it, its your life and your rewards and none of their business.
On the one hand, I had a mother who was a narcissistic alcoholic. Then, I stopped talking to her. Now, my dad is another story. He is risk-averse himself and wants only the very best for his little girls. If he had his way, I would have lived with him until he died. Once I stopped expecting it — and stopped talking about certain things — we got along better.
For a number of years I kept my online earning a secret from my family because I knew that they would look down their noses at me and accuse me of doing nothing more than playing games all day and that I should go out and get a real job. I have come to the conclusion that it is pure jealously, jealously that they put in twice as much hours at work as I do and I still make double the money they do. I have a co-worker that has a laser focus on failure and things that go wrong. Sometimes, I find it very difficult to talk with him about my ideas because there is so much negativity dragging things down.
What I have started doing to deal with this is simply recognize that he is not a good resource during the brainstorming phase of an idea of project. Over time, I have gotten better and better at controlling myself. Family is great and I am lucky to have a great family. But when it comes to Job, life dreams and business. He will always be my dad and want to help me by pointing out things that he thinks I need to know about. Even if my Dad agreed with my plan, it still mine to run out and execute. The drive is a beautiful one. I told my parents I only wanted their blessings.
Not their unsollicited advice, nor their usually unconstructive criticism. I know they are good people, but they are trapped in their own negativity. They harms themselves as well as people around them, just like a smoker would do;. Communicate clearly in a variety of ways what your position is and how their behavior makes you feel.
Make a direct request for them to stop specific behavior. Or to let them go. An excruciating choice. Emotional and physical abuse fall into this broad category and ultimately many people need to find a happier future without their family and perhaps start a new one based around similar values. My mom is very insecure about so many things. Any success I have, I want her to be proud of me, happy for me, but instead it is threatening to her.
How do I collect my family history? | Genes in Life
My feelings about this vary. I remind myself that her behaviour is hers. My behavior, my world is where I put my focus. When she or anyone else is is cruel, I remind myself that success taking care of myself, getting what I need is the best revenge. I try to remind my parents that my success is a reflection of their input and upbringing. Any success I have should be viewed as partly how they raised me. Thank you for teaching me that! There are a couple of ways to cope.
So be sure to spend time with the right peer and support group. The second thing is to be selective about what you share and with whom. I talk to them about other things. This has happened to my wife and I. We listened to their concerns, thanked them for expressing their concern for us, and then told them that while we understand their position, we have decided that we are still going. I would tell this person that the concerns most often come from fear of the unknown. Why do you think that? If they respond with a nonsense answer e.
Sometimes, when those fears are paranoia and cannot be addressed regardless of facts, then perhaps consider addressing it from a relationship perspective. What I really need now is people who will support me, cheer me on, and offer helpful advice. Just your words of encouragement are plenty. I know there are a lot of risks in starting a business, and it hurts when you assume that I will fail. This provides gives the family member two options: 1 support me, or 2 stop discouraging me.
When comments, come, ignore the comment and change the conversation. I have become more entrepreneurial this year, and begun to explore non traditional ways of earning. My mom and my dad have been extremely un-supportive. My dad is much more subtle. Or a sarcastic comment out of the blue when we are talking about a completely different topic.
I encountered this kind of resistance only this year so I have not formed any strategies to dealing with kind of this. However I found its best not to reason with them, since their concerns are fear based so they excel at coming up with all sorts of nonsense which will outlast your reasoning capacity and demotivate you heavily. It best not to add fuel to the fire and let the conversation move to another topic.
Hello, Thanks for sharing. My ex told me to go get a real job. To be honest, I let go of my ex for other reasons. However, my sister is a different story. She is someone who I love and respect. So, it was very hurtful when she told me to get a job instead of moving forward with my business. The way I handled it was: I told her thank you for your opinion, but this is something that I am passionate about and I am going to do whatever it takes to grow my business.
How do you deal with unsupportive family members?
I respect your opinion, but lets just agree to disagree. Therefore, I will not talk to you about my business ventures anymore. When I hit 7 figures, then we can talk about my business, deal. So, I just stopped talking to her about my business ventures and continued to talk to her about all the fun sister stuff! Focus on your dreams and goals in your life. Just listen to them, but then again the decision is still yours. If you can fight for it, then do it.
You would think that family members would be the most supportive of anyone starting up a business. People do not understand the concept of internet marketing; it sounds a bit shady to them. I would explain that I am building websites, some of them I sell from, some I use as affiliate sites. Nope, still nobody understood. Then one happy day my sister was visiting and saw me writing an article on the computer — content for one of my sites.
Apparently a writer is a respectable profession, whereas a marketer is not. Well this is a very tricky situation. As someone who is dealing with this at this particular moment in my life I am more looking to tell my story rather than give advice. I find it very difficult when the person I chose to marry and the mother of my child is the one who is un-supportive. I work in the hotel industry and love every minute of it. I took this job because it was really nice property and a what I think is a great career move.
My wife has been passive aggressive through this whole thing and has been un-supportive, but also has not in the least bit been supportive. She does not want to move away from the little town that we grew up in and the elementary school that we both went to. Since my son is her mothers only grandson she does not want to move him away. My defense is that it is only two hours away it is not like I am trying to move to California we live in NY. For three months I slept in my car trying to make this work because we could not afford the gas to come home every night after work.
I would shower at the local golf course and also get ready there. I am proving my worth to this company one day at a time and would love to become a part of a new hotel they are building. I will do whatever it takes for my family to succeed and also my career. I love my wife to death and would do anything for her. But, if we want to have everything we want in life we are going to have to make sacrifices. Granted some of this was my fault because at the beginning I did not clearly communicate my goals.
I do not know how to handle this because this is the person I live with. It is not my parents who I only talk to once a day, or every couple days. I live with her and share my feelings about everything with. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks Ramit for all your teachings.
If you want to give me some Indian wisdom on this situation please feel free. I swear this post is working through God, and has pulled me in. I am going through this very subject right now, with poisonous venom coming from my mother. Your mom? Your dad? How are you supposed to handle family members that second-guess you…and make you feel bad about your choices? When this occurs in my life, I just use the words to push me to work 2 times as hard. Use it as fuel.
Just like in sports when you get doubt, take those words and use it to push you to run faster, or workout harder. At the same time ,consider their words to an extent. Think about what they say, and if they have a valid point, then take it into consideration and appreciate that they told you, or if it is just poison and put down, then use their words to make you want to work even harder and succeed even more. B Once a job was kinda on the table i.
Her: What are you doing to your relationship?
Her: And where are you going to live? Me: His parents invited me to move in with them, actually. Her: Ugh, Felicia…why do you have to do this? How are you even going to get to SF? Me: I put a lot of time and effort into this and you know, nothing is set in stone yet, Mom. But getting all of the facts first not only shows initiative, but also respect, responsibility, and careful consideration all qualities most parents like these are looking for, and have seeked to nurture in you.
This topic is so relevant. It is so important to have supportive people in your life to help you through difficult things. Unfortunately sometimes even your family and friends can have difficulty being supportive for whatever reason. I have a mother that is from the generation that you stay in your job forever and just be quiet and work hard and you will get ahead.
I would never have the job that I have now if I had listened to that advice. Sometimes not sharing with family members when you take on a new challenge in your life until after things are underway is for the best. If you have a partner or close friend that is always supportive then you can share with them instead. I have had to deal with this all my life. That set me free.
Learn to forgive them, find a way to be grateful for the good things they have done if any and simply accept them for who they are. Who cares? Put your energy into learning whatever it takes to move you forward on your path and forget about looking back. It started when I was 13 and dragged on until I was 35 years old. If I see them in a grocery store, I smile, answer as few questions as possible and then find the nearest exit.
My uncle is a former NASA astronaut. Yet, I hear stories from our family about how one of his parents still has moments where she treats him poorly, as if he has accomplished nothing. If you look harder at how she behaves, some of her harsher words for him actually have very little to do with him. Just remember that sometimes, no matter what kind of a badass you are, your family has their own insecurities that may not be about you at all. But what happens if those people are your close family — your mum, dad, brother?
In this article, some readers give advice to a guy in a sticky situation… […]. Have some regard for you? I have been where you are all my life and wish i had just stayed but as we age we need family or illnesses and going backin my expierence did not change a thing after all the years apart. I am now an aging senior and the only thing or word i can find that fits my family …is …first very disfunctional..
I would say dont walk run from those people and dont look back. Wish today i had stayed away. God bless you. Hi there. I know all to well how it feels for family members to treat you like crap. I am terribly sorry for what you are going through, but just remember that God loves you. Ask god to remove those hateful, selfish spirits from your siblings, and he will do just that.
It never fails. Also try having a talk with them on how they are treating you. I can assure you God will work it out for you. My husband passed away a year ago I took care of him till he passed. She lives around the corner from me. My daughter has always been my mothers favorite. What do I do. Pray for the both of them.
Follow us on:
Ask God to remove that distant spirit that your mother and daughter has. My mother and father are both gone. Before they passed I took care of them. Father for 21 years and my mother only a short time because the cancer spread so quickly. I have one sister who did not help at all. She is and always will be a narcissist. She now has R. I let her move in with me, so I could help her get her life together. Big huge mistake!!! She drained me financially and mentally….
I had to sell my home to regroup. I have cousins in indiana who have been wanting me to move close to them…. Even said that they could help me with employment working for them. So I packed up and moved from S. Now the only help I ask for was to help me move my things in when I got there. I was told that I would be moving to my cousins home for a while.
Till I got myself situated and ready to get my own little home again. When I arrived…. I found that the home of my cousin had holes in the walls, ceiling, and floor. My room not insulated. I have to go outside and unlock the front door to get to the bathroom….. In zero degree weather snow and ice. No one prepared me for this! I cannot even walk one straight line in that house, junk and trash everywhere. Electrical sockets most do not work. Gas heater has a small leak, he says its too small to worry about. Have been there a year now, no changes.
Appliances do not work right or not work at all. I pay him weekly. I am not a freeloader. I got off track a little! I get here….. They never did anything they said they would do. I found a job working 55 to 68 hours a week. I have no downtime, no breaks. And they keep asking me why I do not want to socialize with them. I am stressed beyond belief! Living in a filthy hoarders house. Forgot to mention my cousin is also an alcoholic…. I cannot live like this…. I have no time for them period…. I love them…. I give them the very same answer… I am done with repeating myself.
I am done with all of this!! I will speak nicely to them over the phone, letters whatever, but will not socialize…. This is just a test. Every weekend i used to pay a visit this site, as i want enjoyment, since this this website conations genuinely fastidious funny stuff too. Just wanted to mention keep up the fantastic job! If they are the thick headed types instead of cutting them completely out your lives how bout being selective on what you want to hear from them and maybe they will get the hint as well as recognize what they are about and have a little bit of breathing room from them.
Family is family through the good and bad. You have made the assumption that we just went straight to cutting them out, or put very little effort into finding a middle ground. Think about it. Constant abuse will make you lose self-esteem and you will lose motivation to pursue your goals, and leave you wondering how it could of been with a little support. Have loved ones request rides. Get billed automatically.
For the Family Profile rider. Accept the Family Profile invite. Open the email invitation to the Family Profile and accept. Make it your default payment.
How Do I Find Adoptive Parents for My Baby?
Choose Family Profiles as your default payment method. Pay with Family Profiles. Frequently asked questions. How do I update a Family Profile payment method? Select Settings from your app menu. Scroll down to Profiles and tap the Family Profile bar. Scroll to the bottom and tap Payment. Select your preferred payment method or add a new one. Guardians can create and delete child accounts, see daily stats for children in the family account under kid view , and invite other family members to join the account. Each family account may have multiple guardians.
The main guardian is the creator of the family account and can add or delete other guardians. If the main guardian deletes their Fitbit account or family account, all child accounts are also deleted. For more information about privacy settings, see How do I manage my Fitbit profile? To add a family member or guardian to your family account, first add them as a friend on Fitbit. For instructions, see How do I connect with friends on Fitbit? Note that a total of 11 individuals can be part of a family account.
You must be invited to join a Fitbit family account by a guardian of the account. Note that you must have a Fitbit account and verify your email address to join a family account. To accept the request in the Fitbit app:. With your approval, your child can add friends outside of your family account.
To send friend requests for a child:. After you approve the request, a notification is sent to the friend. Note that if your child adds another child as a friend, their main guardian must also approve the request.
Through kid view, your child can message, cheer, or taunt their Fitbit friends. If your child is competing in a challenge, they can cheer or send messages to any challenge participant. For more information about challenges, see What should I know about challenges? Guardians can remove members and children from the family account. The main guardian can also remove other guardians. To remove someone:. If you change your mind, you have 7 days to recover the account. To do so, switch to kid view in the Fitbit app and tap Recover.
For more information, see How do I delete my Fitbit account? Guardians and family members can leave a Fitbit family account. To leave a family account:. Main guardians must remove all members from the Fitbit family account before deleting the account. To delete a family account:.
You're the best! Feedback like yours helps us improve our articles. If we didn't solve your problem, please try the support options at the bottom of this page. Unfortunately we can't reply directly to article comments. How do I manage my Fitbit family account? Printable View.
- certificate of death application in arkansas.
- How do I find out who is listed under Family? close Friends,? etc??
- Missing people.
- American Adoptions - Find Adoptive Parents - Singles and Couples Looking to Adopt?
- drunk driving schools in oregon tuitions?
- polk county jail oregon current inmates in custody;
Article Text Create a Fitbit family account to set up Fitbit Ace devices, control who your kids connect with in the Fitbit app, and see how active they are each day.